REFLECTII INAINTE DE ANUL NOU...

... e interesant de ce noi (oamenii) numai in ajunul Craciunului si a Anului Nou ne introspectam, ne intrebam "ce am facut in acest an? ce a fost bine? ce a fost rau? unde am gresit? ce am schimba? oare chiar trebuie sama schimb? etc" de ce nu o facem la sfarsitul fiecarei luni, sau a fiecarui anotimp..... Si totusi fac parte si eu din aceeasi categorie, chiar daca am mai incercat si pe parcurul anului sa-mi pun macar cate o intrebare - uneori n-am avut curaj sa-mi raspund... si fac aceleasi greseli. A spus cineva "istoria se repeta cand nu invatam nimic din ea... FOARTE ADEVARAT!!!!!!!
Si totusi o sa intru si eu in clubul copiilor care au scris scrisoare Mosului, si ii cer: fericire - vreau sa fiu fericita cu mine, cu familia, cu cei apropiati; intelegere - sa ma inteleg cu toti, sa fiu deschisa, dar la fel si oamenii cu mine; respect, vreau sa fiu calma, echilibrata, vreau sa raman copil acasa, vreau sa am un job bine platit (ca sa-i ajut si pe parintii mei - chiar vreau asta, nu e ceva de lauda, mandrie sau fala - cred ca macar atat pot sa fac ptr ei, dupa toti nervii consumati din cauza mea, dar deasemena unde sa si invat lucruri noi, sa invat continuu, s ama dezvolt, sa fac ceva ce imi place, si sa-mi aduca satisfactii, sa fiu activa dar nu agitata, buna si intelegatoare, dar nu calcata in picioare, vreau CURAJ!!!! (COJONES!!!), vreau sa iert si sa fiu iertata, vreau sa fiu atenta, corecta, organizata, desteapta si inteligenta, inteleapta, draguta......... vreau sa ma cunosc pe tine, sa ma impac cu mine, sa ma accept asa cum sunt.....
Oare am cerut prea mult? Lucru cel mai frumos ii ca implinirea lor depinde in mare parte de mine.... si de increderea in mine. Doamne, iti cer ajutor, da-mi putere si rabdare, snatate, un drum luminos, oportunitati, sanse..."
SARBATORI FERICITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LA MUUULTI ANI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

e ceata...

E ceata si nu te vad….
Intinde-mi mana sa ma agat de ea.
Sa te tin de mana, sa ma tii de mana… sa te simt.
Nu-ti fie frica, e doar o ceata – ea nu poate sa ne desparta
Auuu? Tu nu ma auzi?
Tu nu ma auzi si nici nu ma vezi…
Esti orbit de ceata
Iti este frica de ea
Te temi ca ea nu va mai disparea
Si atunci alergi, incercand sa iesi, sa scapi
Dar tu defapt te-nvarti in cerc…
Daca mi-ai raspunde la strigat
Ne-am intalni
Si atunci am incerca impreuna sa iesim
“Unde-s doi puterea creste…”
Dar tu nu ma auzi…
Incerc sa te gasesc
Dar tu speriat alergi
Fugi de mine ca de o stafie
Te impiedici, cazi, plangi
Strigi la mine “DISPARI”
Dar stiu ca asta nu esti tu
Stiu ca frica e cea care striga la mine
Si nu renunt
Incerc sa te gasesc
Sa te iau in brate si sa-ti zic
“Sunt EU, sunt EU!!!”
Iar tu sa ma strangi tare in brate
Sa ma saruti si sa-mi spui
“Nu ma parasi! Sa nu ma mai parasesti!”
... Si ceata disparuse!!!

povestiri

6:35 - prea devreme si prea mult intuneric, unii ies acum din cluburi, altii se cuibaresc mai bine in patul lor, langa cineva sau chiar si singuri.... dar ea e imbracata, treaza in palton, cizme, fular si caciula, cea pe care bunica i-a impletit-o, iese din casa si simte mirosul de toamna - interesanta exclamatie "miroase a toamna!!!!" si tot asa de interesant e faptul cum fiecare anotimp are miroul lui specific... si porneste pe un drum nu foarte bine iluminat, pustiu - de aceea isi permite sa mearga direct pe drum nu pe trotuar - si se gandeste "here we go again!!! numai eu si cainii vagabonzi!!!", iar intr-o curte se auzi un cocos strigand "cucuriguu"... "mdaa, rectific: eu, cainii si gainele". Isi pune castile in urechi si porneste mp3 player-u - "castile astea fac figuri :( si le-am cumparat numa de 3 zile - prostii!!!! lucru ieftin!!! intr-adevar, doar am dat 4 lei pe ei, ce ai vrut sa te tine 6 luni? HA..." incearca sa-l imobilizeze in buzunar tinandu-l cu mana ca sa se auda mai bine. In urechi se aude dintr-o data muzica aia linistitoare, unele te chema in pat, alte la dansuri, altele te indeamna la meditatie, iar cele mai dureroase si placute ii amintesc de O iubire, da da de O iubire dureros de placuta!!! un oftat adanc, un DOR si niste amintiri, nu multe dar suficinte incat sa porneasca un cutremur launtric... Trece o masina si o trezeste la realitate, se uita la ceas - e 6:45! Abia acum observa, din nou (asa e in fiecare zi), copacii ingalbeniti, gramezi de frunze galbene, uscate... <<"vantul bate, frunza-n dunga...", "galbena gutuie, dulce amaruie, lampa la fereastra toata iarna noastra!!!" - stoooop asa, asta nu se potriveste, inca e toamna, sa nu grabim lucrurile, timpul si asa FUUUGE "ca dracu de tamaie" - dar nu inteleg undeee? mai ieri era caaald, 35 de grade, si era august, azi e 25 octombrie si e rece - e TOAMNA!!!>> Mai trece o masina.... iar ea viseaza in continuare cu ochii deschisi, si are zeci de ganduri, idei, amintiri - toate odata, o invdeaza - unele o fac sa rada, altele sa planga, altele o fac sa roseasca "nu regret!!! dar daca as putea sa schimb ceva... in unele momente as fi luat alte decizii - orice rau e un bine!!! sunt convinsa, doar ca uneori binele apare mai tarziu, iar pina atunci tre sa ma impac si sa accept orice...". O trecere de pietoni, mai are un pic si ajunge la destinatie

mda... tota lumea - mai ales in business - zic "mergi pina la capat!", "tre sa ajungi la finish cu orice pret!!!". Eu am realizat ca daca nu as fi urmat aceasta idee, probabil as fi fost un pic mai linistita acum :) uneori e bine sa dai inapoi, cand realizezi ca drumul pe care mergi nu o sa duca nicaieri, chiar daca tot o sa mergi inainte... Un pas inapoi - in aparenta, dar poate fi defapt un pas inainte...

Poate astea sunt doar vorbe de incurajare pe care mi le zic mie, ca s anu disper si sa nu ma simt prost :) dar poate e adevarat :)

ceva citate...

"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it."
Buddha

Reporter: "Mr Gandhi, what do you think of Western Civilization?"
Gandhi: "I think it would be a good idea."

"A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death."
Albert Einstein

Breathe, and let go.

"Letting Go of Attachment, from A to Zen


“Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.” ~Dalai Lama


If there’s one thing we all have in common it’s that we want to feel happy; and on the other side of that coin, we want to avoid hurting. Yet we consistently put ourselves in situations that set us up for pain.

We pin our happiness to people, circumstances, and things and hold onto them for dear life. We stress about the possibility of losing them when something seems amiss. Then we melt into grief when something changes—a lay off, a break up, a transfer.

We attach to feelings as if they define us, and ironically, not just positive ones. If you’ve wallowed in regret or disappointment for years, it can seem safe and even comforting to suffer.

In trying to hold on to what’s familiar, we limit our ability to experience joy in the present. A moment can’t possibly radiate fully when you’re suffocating it in fear.

When you stop trying to grasp, own, and control the world around you, you give it the freedom to fulfill you without the power to destroy you. That’s why letting go is so important: letting go is letting happiness in.

It’s no simple undertaking to let go of attachment—not a one-time decision, like pulling off a band-aid. Instead, it’s a day-to-day, moment-to-moment commitment that involves changing the way you experience and interact with everything you instinctively want to grasp.

The best approach is to start simple, at the beginning, and work your way to Zen.
Experiencing Without Attachment

Accept the moment for what it is. Don’t try to turn it into yesterday; that moment’s gone. Don’t plot about how you can make the moment last forever. Just seep into the moment and enjoy it because it will eventually pass. Nothing is permanent. Fighting that reality will only cause you pain.

Believe now is enough. It’s true—tomorrow may not look the same as today, no matter how much you try to control it. A relationship might end. You might have to move. You’ll deal with those moments when they come. All you need right now is to appreciate and enjoy what you have. It’s enough.

Call yourself out. Learn what it looks like to grasp at people, things, or circumstances so you can redirect your thoughts when they veer toward attachment. When you dwell on keeping, controlling, manipulating, or losing something instead of simply experiencing it.

Define yourself in fluid terms. We are all constantly evolving and growing. Define yourself in terms that can withstand change. Defining yourself by possessions, roles, and relationships breeds attachment because loss entails losing not just what you have, but also who you are.

Enjoy now fully. No matter how much time you have in an experience or with someone you love, it will never feel like enough. So don’t think about it in terms of quantity—aim for quality, instead. Attach to the idea of living well moment-to-moment. That’s an attachment that can do you no harm.
Letting Go of Attachment to People

Friend yourself. It will be harder to let people go when necessary if you depend on them for your sense of worth. Believe you’re worthy whether someone else tells you or not. This way, you relate to people—not just how they make you feel about yourself.

Go it alone sometimes. Take time to foster your own interests, ones that nothing and no one can take away. Don’t let them hinge on anyone or anything other than your values and passion.

Hold lightly. This one isn’t just about releasing attachments—it’s also about maintaining healthy relationships. Contrary to romantic notions, you are not someone’s other half. You’re separate and whole. You can still hold someone to close to your heart; just remember, if you squeeze too tightly, you’ll both be suffocated.

Interact with lots of people. If you limit yourself to one or two relationships they will seem like your lifelines. Everyone needs people, and there are billions on the planet. Stay open to new connections. Accept the possibility your future involves a lot of love whether you cling to a select few people or not.

Justify less. I can’t let him go—I’ll be miserable without him. I’d die if I lost her—she’s all that I have. These thoughts reinforce beliefs that are not fact, even if they feel like it. The only way to let go and feel less pain is to believe you’re strong enough to carry on if and when things change.
Letting Go of Attachment to the Past

Know you can’t change the past. Even if you think about over and over again. Even if you punish yourself. Even if you refuse to accept it. It’s done. The only way to relieve your pain about what happened is to give yourself relief. No one and nothing else can create peace in your head for you.

Love instead of fearing. When you hold onto the past, it often has to do with fear: fear you messed up your chance at happiness, or fear you’ll never know such happiness again. Focus on what you love and you’ll create happiness instead of worrying about it.

Make now count. Instead of thinking of what you did or didn’t do, the type of person you were or weren’t, do something worthwhile now. Be someone worthwhile now. Take a class. Join a group. Help someone who needs it. Make today so full and meaningful there’s no room to dwell on yesterday.

Narrate calmly. How we experience the world is largely a result of how we internalize it. Instead of telling yourself dramatic stories about the past—how hurt you were or how hard it was—challenge your emotions and focus on lessons learned. That’s all you really need from yesterday.

Open your mind. We often cling to things, situations or people because we’re comfortable with them. We know how they’ll make us feel, whether it’s happy or safe. Consider that new things, situations and people may affect you the same. The only way to find out is to let go of what’s come and gone.
Letting Go of Attachment to Outcomes

Practice letting things be. That doesn’t mean you can’t actively work to create a different tomorrow. It just means you make peace with the moment as it is, without worrying that something’s wrong with you or your life, and then operate from a place of acceptance.

Question your attachment. If you’re attached to a specific outcome—a dream job, the perfect relationship—you may be indulging an illusion about some day when everything will be lined up for happiness. No moment will ever be worthier of your joy than now because that’s all there ever is.

Release the need to know. Life entails uncertainty, no matter how strong your intention. Obsessing about tomorrow wastes your life because there will always be a tomorrow on the horizon. There are no guarantees about how it will play out. Just know it hinges on how well you live today.

Serve your purpose now. You don’t need to have x-amount of money in the bank to live a meaningful life right now. Figure out what matters to you, and fill pockets of time indulging it. Audition for community theater. Volunteer with animals. Whatever you love, do it. Don’t wait—do it now.

Teach others. It’s human nature to hope for things in the future. Even the most enlightened people fall into the habit from time to time. Remind yourself to stay open to possibilities by sharing the idea with other people. Blog about it. Talk about it. Tweet about it. Opening up helps keep you open.
Letting Go of Attachment to Feelings

Understand that pain is unavoidable. No matter how well you do everything on this list, or on your own short list for peace, you will lose things that matter and feel some level of pain. But it doesn’t have to be as bad as you think. As the saying goes, pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

Vocalize your feelings. Feel them, acknowledge them, express them, and then let them naturally transform. Even if you want to dwell in anger, sadness or frustration—especially if you feel like dwelling—save yourself the pain and commit to working through them.

Write it down. Then toss it out. You won’t always have the opportunity to express your feelings to the people who inspired them. That doesn’t mean you need to swallow them. Write in a journal. Write a letter and burn it. Anything that helps you let go.

Xie Xie. It means thank you in Chinese. Fully embrace your happy moments—love with abandon; be so passionate it’s contagious. If a darker moment follows, remember: it will teach you something, and soon enough you’ll be in another happy moment to appreciate. Everything is cyclical.

Yield to peace. The ultimate desire is to feel happy and peaceful. Even if you think you want to stay angry, what you really want is to be at peace with what happened or will happen. It takes a conscious choice. Make it.

Zen your now. Experience, appreciate, enjoy, and let go to welcome another experience.

It won’t always be easy. Sometimes you’ll feel compelled to attach yourself physically and mentally to people and ideas—as if it gives you some sense of control or security. You may even strongly believe you’ll be happy if you struggle to hold onto what you have. That’s OK. It’s human nature.

Just know you have the power to choose from moment to moment how you experience things you enjoy: with a sense of ownership, anxiety, and fear, or with a sense of freedom, peace and love.

The most important question: what do you choose right now?"

am gasit si eu asta pe un site, si nu am vrut sa uit :)

"THE SOVIET STORY"

http://www.jurnaltv.ro/video/The_Soviet_Story_Povestea_sovietelor_incredibil

“The Soviet Story”, în regia lui Edvīns Šnore, este un film zguduitor, care prezintă că Uniunea Sovietică a ucis peste 20 de milioane de nevinovaţi, bărbaţi, femei, copii.

În film se prezintă interviuri cu foşti ofiţeri de informaţii, care evidenţiază detalii şocante. “The Soviet Story” s-a filmat în mai mult de doi ani în Rusia, Ucraina, Letonia, Germania, Franţa, Regatul Unit, Belgia, iar materialele pentru documentar au fost adunate de regizor timp de mai bine de zece ani.

“The Soviet Story” mai este numit și „Povestea sovietelor” și relevă povestea masacrelor politice puse la cale în numele unor utopii dictatoriale criminale: comunismul şi nazismul.

Filmul începe cu genocidul înfometării din Ucraina (din cadrul URSS), ordonat de Stalin: a exterminat 7 milioane de oameni numai în iarna anilor 1932-1933 – şi n-a
protestat nimeni din Occident, deşi se cunoştea situaţia.
“The Soviet Story” ne aminteşte că se semnează Pactul secret dintre dictatorii Hitler şi Stalin în 1939 de împărţire a Europei, el a provocat şi a întreţinut al doilea război mondial şi apoi „războiul rece” postbelic. Despotismul comunist e egal totalitarismului nazist. Sovietele şi SS colaborau, NKVD (poliţia secretă sovietică, viitor KGB) instruia GESTAPO pe seama torturii, naziştii au preluat de la sovietici lagărele de concentrare.

La Katin rezerviştii polonezi (ofiţeri, prizonieri de război) au fost împuşcaţi în masă în ceafă în 1940 de NKVD, 20.000 de oameni neînarmaţi. Uniunea Sovietică a ucis peste 20 de milioane de nevinovaţi, bărbaţi, femei, copii. Deportările în cadrul URSS (în Siberia, în principal) s-au asemănat deportărilor în vagoane de vite şi lagărelor de concentrare naziste, iar KGB a făcut experimente înfricoşătoare pe oameni, transformaţi în cobai.

Sursa: UNIMEDIA, cu referință la jurnaltv.ro și blogul urbaniulian.ro
pe site-ul celor de la unimedia filmul este integral postat 1:25:30

niste ninja de 12 "picioare" :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daulnndL6W4&feature=related

eu zic ca au potential :D

...

...

acus se implinesc 40 de zile.... iar eu inca nu stiu ce sa zic... nici nu stiu sigur daca ar trebui sa zic ceva... dar am facut niste fotografii - ma jucam in weekend - si le dedic LUI - unchiului meu...

dedicat tie.... S

Unde-ai fost cand 'mi-era frig?
In alt pat ai dormit,
Alt trup ai incalzit,
Alte buze-ai sarutat,
Alti sani ai mangaiat,
In alti ochi ai privit,
In alte urechi ai soptit...
Unde-ai fost cand 'mi-era frig?
Unde esti?
Inca mi-i frig...

nimic nu este gratis - totul se plateste

Nici nu stiu cum ar trebui sa incep….. ce sa scriu, ce sa zic… sunt inca socata. Asa ceva nu te invata nimeni, nimeni nu te pregatesti psihic sa rezisti unei astfel de situatii…. Ma gandesc, daca eu ma simt asa… ea – care a trait acest moment – cum se simte…? cand ne-am despartit mai radea la cate o gluma, incerca sa-si revina… dar in suflet? Poate e mai bine sa nu se uite acolo – ar distruge-o. E usor sa zici “buna ziua, am venit ptr o intrerupere de sarcina…” dar ce urmeaza …. Ma trec fiorii, imi era groaza sa ma uit prin acea sala. Imi era groaza sa observ acel copil care nu a fost dorit, si a trebui sa fie omorat – 3 luni… DOAMNE IARTA-NE!!! a fost prea mult ptr mine, dar ptr ea? Am aflat ce inseamna sa fii complice, am aflat cat costa … hmmm daca s-ar rezuma doar la suma asta… insa suma care va trebui platita mai tarziu e mult mai mare, e imensa… ma rog lui Dumnezeu sa ma ierte, dar in primul rand s-o ierte pe ea.
Si totul ptr ce? Ptr o p*** care te satisface 7-10 minute… ptr cineva care pina la urma nu a avut cojones sa vina, chiar si din Austria. Pretul platit e mai mare decat serviciile prestate. E ca si cum ti-ai da viata ptr cineva care oricum te va uita. NU MERITA – atat pot sa zic.
E groaznic – nu am cuvinte, nu stiu ce sa zic… sper sa nu traiasca nimeni asa ceva… nu as dori asa ceva nici celui mai mare dusman…
Unii nu realizeaza si atunci imediat iti arunca o replica de genul “trebuia sa ai grija!!!!” pe un ton de parca ai fi o carpa. Stim sa lovim doar atunci cand omul e deja jos, sau lovim atunci cand el incearca sa se ridice, sa se puna pe picioare… stim sa criticam si sa reprosam, sa ne credem superiori, mai buni “ai vazut ce a patit aia? Ce proasta, mie nu mi s-ar fi intamplat asa ceva niciodata!!!” – si cand iti e mai draga lumea, o patesti… nu suntem mai buni unii decat ceilalti, nu avem dreptul sa judecam, sa criticam, sa barfim, sa desconsideram alte persoane – DUMNEZEU NU BATE CU BATUL!!!! – asta am invatat-o si eu pe propria piele.
Stiti cat costa in ziua de azi o crima? – 520 de lei……………… nu-mi place deloc acest cuvant pe care l-am folosit, dar pina la urma urmei asta este – o crima…
DOAMNE MILUIESTE!!!!
Nimic nu ii gratis, totul se plateste...

INTREBARE...

Spuneti-mi si mie DACA RENUNTI, ESTI LAS SAU RATAT? am o dilema foarte mare. Daca in loc de 3 ani faci 5 ani (si aici ma refer la scoala, adica facultate) inseamna ca sunt o ratata, o inadaptata, incapabila.... ganditi-va voi la restul sinonimilor :).
VA MULTUMESC!!!!

DEDICAT PENTRU TOTI MOLDOVENII !!!
UN Moldovan nu se saluta: - Iti zice "zdarova" bai.
UN Moldovan nu te deranjeaza: - Iti da beep-uri.
UN Moldovan nu se supara: - Te iarta cu o bere.
UN Moldovan nu are prieteni: - Are tavarisi si bratani.
UN Moldovan nu te loveste: - Iti freaca un pumn.
UN Moldovan nu are bani: - Are kapusta, evra si lava.
UN Moldovan nu vrea masina: - Vrea Bumer si Mars.
UN Moldovan nu face "party" : - Face dansuri, discoteca si kalbaseala.
UN Moldovan nu fura : - Face calim.
UN Moldovan nu se bate : - Se duce la "strelca".
UN Moldovan nu Intirzie : - Vine cu marshrutka.
UN Moldovan nu lucreaza pentru stat : - Lucreaza pentru alte state.
UN Moldovan nu bea pina dimineata : - Pina vine politia.
UN Moldovan nu e in pas cu moda: - O dicteaza...

Sa iubesti neconditionat dar fara raspuns e chinuitor… dragoastea asta te consuma, te stoarce de orice strop de viata, devii un trecator, care efectiv fuge prin viata, nu vede nimic – decat fugitiv, lucrurile cele mai importante, nu traieste nimic in afara de dragostea pe care o poarta precum o piatra pe suflet – caci ii singur, nu primeste sprijinul pe care il asteapta si il cere, il implora… viata nu mai are sens, totul este sters – afara ploua si e innourat, nici iarna nu mai e iarna, vara e prea fierbinte, primavera parca a disparut, florile nu mai infloresc, nu se mai simte mirosul ierbii proaspete, ci doar al celei arse de soare. Incerci sa supravietuiesti, trebuie sa bei, sa mananci, sa respire, sa gandesti, sa te misti si sa ai moralul ridicat, macar apparent, sa incerci sa reusesti … hm… oare mai are rost? Crezi ca va trece, ca iti vei aminti peste ani si vei zambi? Nu de la o astfel de dragoste, caci peste ani vei fi uscat pe dinauntru – dar cine va vedea?